How not to do drugs...

I don't know a thing about drugs firsthand since I have never tried anything illegal and I imagine I never will. People who I love and have loved have been consumed by the stuff and I, unfortunately, know what it is to be affected secondhand by the ugliness and destructiveness of it all. And after all this - to the deepest of my core - I HATE DRUGS. I hate them more than I can hate anything else. This is my best guess as to how to avoid becoming an addict:

1.) Have a strong sense of your own mortality. I often see myself crashing in a fiery ball if I start to drive faster than I should. Maybe if you practice being aware of how you can die or become injured in a sudden and unexpected way, you would be more careful of the life you were given.

2.) Do things that scare you. I really believe there is something about youth that almost instinctively drives us to take risks. I think you absolutely need to satisfy this need. Give a speech, try out for a play, go water skiing, play competitive sports, perform in a band- karaoke, if need by. But do things that get your adrenaline going and make you go "WHEW!" afterwards.

3.) Hang out with people who inspire you to be better. It's all about peer pressure. If your friends do drugs, it will be so easy for you to do drugs. Make a conscious effort to befriend those people who do not do drugs and are unlikely to start. Pursue friends who have their focus on their future, their goals, not just those who are looking to "pass the time" and have fun.

4.) Become informed. Know what drugs do to you. Read stories about people whose lives were ruined. Know the slang terms, the side-effects, know the withdraw symptoms, know the statistics. Obtain this information before someone tries to convince you with the lies they tell to downplay the reality of drugs. Know that they are telling you lies from the beginning, so you can see right through them.

5.) Recognize that junkies are just like everyone else. Drug users are not generally what they appear to be. They are not always thin, or poor, or have bad teeth, or wear sunglasses, wear baggy clothes, or talk in a slur, or use bad language. They are your quiet unassuming neighbor, your overly friendly coworker, your handsome well-dressed cousin. Do not assume that because they can still function in society, that drugs have not already taken away so much of their freedom and happiness. Don't allow them to set an example of how you, too, can still have a normal life as a drug user.

6.) Never begin lying. People who are good liars got there because of practice. Addicts often become great at lying to get money, to hide their drug use, to allow them to live a seemingly normal life. As soon as you being lying about the little things, it becomes easier to lie about the big ones. Just because you are smart and you can read people very well, it does not mean you should spend your efforts on developing this skill to manipulate people. You will always pay the biggest price.

7.) Have something to live for. If actions speak louder than words, then I think that junkies love their drugs more than their parents, more than their spouses, more than their children. Yet this is often the only reason that hard-core junkies give it up. Find something or someone to love. And love them. And make that love the most important thing in your existence. Otherwise, you will find something else to love that will not love you back.

8.) Never let money burn a hole in your pocket. It is so easy for young people with money to spend to spend it on drugs. If I were a parent, I would never allow my child to have unearned spending money. Money can be the biggest curse to the young. Money that is not earned will likely be spent on "junk." It is up to them what kind of junk it will be.

9.) Fill your life. I think it is really dangerous for young people to have too much time on their hands. They have so much energy to burn. School, a part-time job, after-school activities, do it all! You can sleep when you die! Hopefully much later rather than sooner.

10.) Love yourself. I know this is so much easier said than done, but I think all of us need to become the kind of person we can respect and love: Fiercely and desperately love. Drugs are nothing but a long-term form of suicide. You must love yourself enough to live.

Secrets to Happiness

Once in a while, inexpilcably, and for some reason fairly often lately, I find myself feeling a rush of pure happiness. It is usually spurred on my something minor, a great song, a dip in a lap pool, the sight of two baby geckos hunting among the banana trees in my back yard...but I think often about what can make me suddenly so happy...so this is what I have been able to come up with so far.

1.) Earn the money you make: I recognize that people all over the world do not get paid an ounce of what they are worth, but if we believed the going rate for wages in this country, I feel that I offer my employer a good transaction, my labor for my wage. I feel I make a good honest commitment to my work and I do as I am asked and therefore earn an honest wage.

2.) Spend money (or energy/time) on ways that further your belief system: For the money I do make, I feel that I am not forced into spending money in a way that harms me or others. I do not spend money on drugs, or alcohol, or medical expenses for a harmful lifestyle, or other harmful "escapes". I spend money to educate myself - books and newspapers, and books on tape and renting educational movies and lectures and tuition. I buy eco-friendly and human-friendly (fair-trade) products and vegan food. I know I can do better and I continually strive to do better, but it is a wonderful journey.

3.) Say "yes!" and show up when you say you will: I have had so many wonderful experiences simply becuase I have a rule - When I am offered an opportunity to participate in an activity, I accept and I show up. Even if it seems scary, even if it is awfully early in the morning, even if I know no one I know will be there. It is amazing what you can experience if you take each oppportunity that arises and show up!

4.) Accept people for who they are: I have learned that it is so much more freeing to accept that everyone has weaknesses and you much learn to love people for the good in them, and overlook the bad. And actually, the bad in people really just makes them more interesting! You cannot change people, you can only change yourself. It has brought me so much peace in my life when I am able to do this, but it is not always easy.

5.) Look at the little things: You can be happy if you just notice the little things. The rain lilies blooming, that my cat Calsetta just began to purr, that I have found a few mosquito larvae to feed to my fish as a treat. These little pleasures can be such a thrill if only you notice!

6.) Eating well: I can't get over how lousy I feel when I eat something heavily processed, with white flour and/or white sugar or high fructose corn syrup or MSG or tons of grease. If I maintain a diet of whole plant foods, I never stop! Give me fruit for desert and crunchy greens for dinner. When people say life is too short to eat healthy, I say life is too short NOT to eat healthy!

7.) Keep your mind occupied: I want to have a lifetime of constant learning. A new interest completely energized me and thrills me. And only through learning can I find new interests. Therefore I try to learn anything I can and expose myself to all kinds of new things. There is a world of new foods and way to cook them, sports and hobbies, plants and animals, technology and economic changes, political issues and social issues, ways to dance and languages to learn. I have a lifetime to discover them all!

8.) A good marriage: I have a husband I adore. We have managed to learn to compromise and work through our differences and we have a remarkably exciting, comforting, challenging, satisfying, precious relationship. He is such an inspiration to me in how he learns and experiences life...and his face is the most beautiful site in the world.

9.) Life your own life: I am not overly-influenced on society's expectation of how to be. I think it is sad to make choices based on other's people expectations of you. The more I relinquish myself from such outside influences, the more free to be me I am!

10.) Just be HAPPY: Happiness is a choice. I firmly believe this. But it is not as simple and just forcing yourself to smile. Happiness is somthing to work towards, something to strive for. I consiously choose to fill my days one way or another. I believe if your life thoughtfully and honestly, you can find what might make you happy too!