I have a cartoon by Mueller up on my computer. It is one guy looking at a guy inside a vacuum with the caption "You've got to stop living in a vacuum". I need to keep inspirations around like that to remind me that I need to get out in the world and interact with people. I come from very friendly people. Almost to a fault. My parents can talk to anyone at anytime about anything. I love that they never seem to pick and choose who to talk to. If someone has an ear, they both figure that ear needs a talkin' to. And I suppose, in my good moments, I can be like that too. But in general, I feel far more comfortable having my conversations in my own imagination, between me and a news article, or a book, or a TV show. I am really trying to be better. I find that I really fear telling the people in my life that I love, admire and appreciate them. What a silly fear! Anyway, so here is my top ten list for ways to tell people in your life how you feel about them, even if you are scared to do so. I do not intend to scold, this is really a list for me, myself and I, and I plan to refer to it often….
1. You can send gifts instead of delivering them to someone in person. It is a relief to me not to have to look at someone in the face when you hand them a gift.
2. Complement people behind their back. Tell other people how much someone has inspired you or how smart or interesting you think they are, or how helpful they have been to you in the past.
3. Buy what they are selling. I don't care if it is useless crap that is priced 10 times what it is worth. Buy it out of appreciation for who they are and what they value.
4. Talk to your friends about your friends. When one of your friends is struggling with a relationship problem, tell them a story of how another one of your friends conquered the same problem. No need to use names.
5. Adore their family members. Tell your coworker his wife is gorgeous. Tell her that her son is the sweetest child you've ever met. Coo and awe at those baby pictures.
6. Listen. Even if you don't know what to say or how to respond or how to fix the problem. Just listen and nod and incorporate their words into your psyche to think about later.
7. Accept invitations: When someone invites you over, gosh darn, say yes and commit to showing up. Showing up is half the battle, even if you think you don’t have enough guts to make it through the evening.
8. Be honest: Don’t try to be someone else to make people like you. You might think that hiding that you feel differently about some political or social issue will avoid any possibility of conflict, but in the end you are simply being dishonest and showing that you do not have enough trust that you will be accepted for who you are. Be honest about who you are and your feelings, and show the people in your life that you trust them with your thoughts and feelings.
9. Share: Give till you think it might hurt. If you only feel comfortable sharing one of your homemade brownies, give away two. If those homegrown zucchini are extra delicious this year even though you only grew two, give away one. If everyone is giving 5 dollars to give flowers for the death of a loved one, give 10.
10. Be kind: When those rare opportunities come about when you can really connect with someone, when they are in tears, when someone else is excluding them, when you should take the blame instead, when someone else speaks badly of another, speak up! Defend! Invite! Hug! Take any opportunity that arises to be kind and grab it and use it before it gets away, before you change your mind.
Tuesday, May 8, 2007
Friday, May 4, 2007
These are a few of my favorite things!
Everyone should have a favorite…
1.) Cartoonist: John Callaghan is mine. Really in-your face painfully-ironic stuff. It is delicious. Everyone should find someone who really speaks to them in pictures and short tidbits of language. Then buy a book of cartoons, or cut out cartoons that you really love and keep them in a often-opened book, on the refrigerator, up on your bulletin board at work. Humor is so enriching. Wallow in it.
2.) Stand-up comedian: I’ve got several. Rodney Carrington and the ”Love Master” Craig Schumacher are faves. You need to frequent comedy clubs to find one. Stand-up is best observed live. Find one you really enjoyed and follow his/her career. Monitor when she comes to town and see her each time. Get a CD autographed. Let his jokes become part of your vocabulary. Develop a series of inside jokes with your family members based on their humor. It’s infectious!
3.) Radio talk-show host: I love talk radio from Stephanie Miller to Michael Savage (some folks you just love to hate), and for me, pretty much anyone talking politics is enough for me to become a fan. But to me, it is a great study in communication, BS, manipulation, culture, social mores, politics, news and information. Keep your brain occupied as you do your busy work, and your brain will grow!
4.) Cooking show: Does Anthony Bourdain count? I don’t think people in this country focus enough on what goes in their mouth. Convenience foods have become the foods that define our USA culture and I think that is really sad. We should be more educated in different foods and how to prepare foods at home. It isn’t enough to watch, but really try to learn something and incorporate meals into your repertoire, and then your traditions, and then you can become a food artist yourself. Food IS culture.
5.) Animal: I get so much out of my love for animals, whether my cats, my vericomposting worms, the grackles eating moths in my yard, the “taquache” (opossum) that eats the veggies I toss in the compost…but my favorite animal overall are lizards. Their little eyes look so wise, their movements so assured, I’ve loved them for as long as I can remember. I think, ironically, that loving animals makes us more human. After all, we are animals! We just aren’t quite ready to admit it.
6.) Thing to do on a vacation: Play in the surf. Those things that you don’t get to do very often, but when you do, they absolutely thrill you to your very core! Nuf’ said!
7.) Sport: I know everyone has a favorite sports team, or favorite sport that they watch, but everyone should have a favorite sport that they DO. (I need one myself) There is something about competition for a simple, lighthearted game. As adults we don’t get to play as often as we should. Skip a day at the gym and toss a soccer ball around with some pals. Or invite a friend or a spouse to join you in a game of chess for a brain workout.
8.) Skill: I think I'll have to say that belly-dancing is my lastest favorite. Singing, painting, making furniture, sewing, playing the violin, juggling, writing poems, speaking a different language, voice impressions, telling stories, making a knot in a cherry stem with your tongue. Everyone needs the opportunity to show off!
9.) Historical subject: The black plague is mine (I have a dark side, I suppose). I really am impressed when I can get in a conversation with someone who can put today’s events in historical perspective. History is so interesting, but we can’t know it all. I think if you can focus on one little part of history that interests you, the Civil War, the development of the Catholic Church, Communism in Europe, we are able to see current events with a richer perspective.
10.) Philosophy: The environment is mine (or couldn’t you tell?). Everyone needs a guiding principle. For many people it is religion, for some it is love of country, family, or economic principle, for some it is the pursuit of money or career success or even simply survival. What ever it might be, you should have some set of values that underlies the motivation for your principles. And make sure it is a guiding principle that makes you proud. That is the most important one of all.
1.) Cartoonist: John Callaghan is mine. Really in-your face painfully-ironic stuff. It is delicious. Everyone should find someone who really speaks to them in pictures and short tidbits of language. Then buy a book of cartoons, or cut out cartoons that you really love and keep them in a often-opened book, on the refrigerator, up on your bulletin board at work. Humor is so enriching. Wallow in it.
2.) Stand-up comedian: I’ve got several. Rodney Carrington and the ”Love Master” Craig Schumacher are faves. You need to frequent comedy clubs to find one. Stand-up is best observed live. Find one you really enjoyed and follow his/her career. Monitor when she comes to town and see her each time. Get a CD autographed. Let his jokes become part of your vocabulary. Develop a series of inside jokes with your family members based on their humor. It’s infectious!
3.) Radio talk-show host: I love talk radio from Stephanie Miller to Michael Savage (some folks you just love to hate), and for me, pretty much anyone talking politics is enough for me to become a fan. But to me, it is a great study in communication, BS, manipulation, culture, social mores, politics, news and information. Keep your brain occupied as you do your busy work, and your brain will grow!
4.) Cooking show: Does Anthony Bourdain count? I don’t think people in this country focus enough on what goes in their mouth. Convenience foods have become the foods that define our USA culture and I think that is really sad. We should be more educated in different foods and how to prepare foods at home. It isn’t enough to watch, but really try to learn something and incorporate meals into your repertoire, and then your traditions, and then you can become a food artist yourself. Food IS culture.
5.) Animal: I get so much out of my love for animals, whether my cats, my vericomposting worms, the grackles eating moths in my yard, the “taquache” (opossum) that eats the veggies I toss in the compost…but my favorite animal overall are lizards. Their little eyes look so wise, their movements so assured, I’ve loved them for as long as I can remember. I think, ironically, that loving animals makes us more human. After all, we are animals! We just aren’t quite ready to admit it.
6.) Thing to do on a vacation: Play in the surf. Those things that you don’t get to do very often, but when you do, they absolutely thrill you to your very core! Nuf’ said!
7.) Sport: I know everyone has a favorite sports team, or favorite sport that they watch, but everyone should have a favorite sport that they DO. (I need one myself) There is something about competition for a simple, lighthearted game. As adults we don’t get to play as often as we should. Skip a day at the gym and toss a soccer ball around with some pals. Or invite a friend or a spouse to join you in a game of chess for a brain workout.
8.) Skill: I think I'll have to say that belly-dancing is my lastest favorite. Singing, painting, making furniture, sewing, playing the violin, juggling, writing poems, speaking a different language, voice impressions, telling stories, making a knot in a cherry stem with your tongue. Everyone needs the opportunity to show off!
9.) Historical subject: The black plague is mine (I have a dark side, I suppose). I really am impressed when I can get in a conversation with someone who can put today’s events in historical perspective. History is so interesting, but we can’t know it all. I think if you can focus on one little part of history that interests you, the Civil War, the development of the Catholic Church, Communism in Europe, we are able to see current events with a richer perspective.
10.) Philosophy: The environment is mine (or couldn’t you tell?). Everyone needs a guiding principle. For many people it is religion, for some it is love of country, family, or economic principle, for some it is the pursuit of money or career success or even simply survival. What ever it might be, you should have some set of values that underlies the motivation for your principles. And make sure it is a guiding principle that makes you proud. That is the most important one of all.
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
Jumping right in....
I must have a couple of dozen "How to save the planet" books. It is never enough! But living the eco-friendly dream, for me, is endlessly interesting and ever-changing.
What are 10 easy ways to re-green-think your life.....
1.) Buy non-scented everything: Just think of your poor little lungs that have to process all those icky organic (think petrol-based meaning of the term) chemicals that pollute your atmosphere.
2.) Say yes to mom: Always accept used items from your friends or family. Used is always better for the environment. If people know you will accept these things, they will think of you next time they have something to get rid of! I like to be known as cheap cheap cheap!
3.) Find two uses for your water: Find ways to use your water twice. Keep a bucket in your shower and use the water to flush a toilet or to water plants. Keep a bowl in your sink as well. Consider installing a grey water system. Dry your clothes outside and make clouds!
4.) Never buy trash: Never buy things simply for the purpose of throwing them away. Never, ever buy garbage bags or paper towels or single use cleaner towels or zip-lock bags. There are so many alternatives already in your house. You spend more time and money on these throwaways than you save in the time you thought you were saving.
5.) Open a window: We had a $40 electricity bill last month. Why? We open windows and let the breezes in instead of using the AC. Functions as a fan. Also functions as an air cleaner. Also sometimes functions as a light bulb. And a cat toy...
6.) Think long term: Why buy an incandescent bulb for 50 cents when a $3 florescent can save you 20 dollars? Why buy a cheap refrigerator when a new energy efficient one will save you hundreds in a year? Why buy electric lights for the yard when a solar one costs only what you pay at check-out? Always consider the whole cost of something.
7.) Be Lazy: You don’t have to mow as often as you do now. You don't have to do that errand today, it can wait until the weekend when you can combine errands. You don't have to buy clothes you have to dry-clean. You don't have to make a three course meal when just a plate of pasta will satisfy. Simplicity saves the planet.
8.) Kill Germs: With a microwave, with boiling water, with full strength vinegar, with soap and water. Did you know you can kill fleas with any old shampoo? There is no need to buy the poisons.
9.) Become a collector: Of ideas instead of stuff. Develop your mind instead of filling your closet.
10.) Love one another: Make friends, volunteer, start up a conversation, send a letter, send an email, steal a kiss. Spread the word. Share yourself and your ideas. The more we fill our lives with each other, the less we need to fill up our lives with things.
What are 10 easy ways to re-green-think your life.....
1.) Buy non-scented everything: Just think of your poor little lungs that have to process all those icky organic (think petrol-based meaning of the term) chemicals that pollute your atmosphere.
2.) Say yes to mom: Always accept used items from your friends or family. Used is always better for the environment. If people know you will accept these things, they will think of you next time they have something to get rid of! I like to be known as cheap cheap cheap!
3.) Find two uses for your water: Find ways to use your water twice. Keep a bucket in your shower and use the water to flush a toilet or to water plants. Keep a bowl in your sink as well. Consider installing a grey water system. Dry your clothes outside and make clouds!
4.) Never buy trash: Never buy things simply for the purpose of throwing them away. Never, ever buy garbage bags or paper towels or single use cleaner towels or zip-lock bags. There are so many alternatives already in your house. You spend more time and money on these throwaways than you save in the time you thought you were saving.
5.) Open a window: We had a $40 electricity bill last month. Why? We open windows and let the breezes in instead of using the AC. Functions as a fan. Also functions as an air cleaner. Also sometimes functions as a light bulb. And a cat toy...
6.) Think long term: Why buy an incandescent bulb for 50 cents when a $3 florescent can save you 20 dollars? Why buy a cheap refrigerator when a new energy efficient one will save you hundreds in a year? Why buy electric lights for the yard when a solar one costs only what you pay at check-out? Always consider the whole cost of something.
7.) Be Lazy: You don’t have to mow as often as you do now. You don't have to do that errand today, it can wait until the weekend when you can combine errands. You don't have to buy clothes you have to dry-clean. You don't have to make a three course meal when just a plate of pasta will satisfy. Simplicity saves the planet.
8.) Kill Germs: With a microwave, with boiling water, with full strength vinegar, with soap and water. Did you know you can kill fleas with any old shampoo? There is no need to buy the poisons.
9.) Become a collector: Of ideas instead of stuff. Develop your mind instead of filling your closet.
10.) Love one another: Make friends, volunteer, start up a conversation, send a letter, send an email, steal a kiss. Spread the word. Share yourself and your ideas. The more we fill our lives with each other, the less we need to fill up our lives with things.
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